Society has always been the way it is, but not as toxic as it is now compared to the days of our parents due to the advent of technology, innovations that have made life more complicated.
Although my opinion is subjective to my own personal experience there are a whole of things that come to play in our environment ranging from our cultural beliefs, disposition and religion which plays a vital role in the everyday growth of people regardless of what your beliefs are. 
That is why people find it hard to relax as a result of increased demand in everything, the economic situation of the country also contributes to making life more stressful to human beings and as such pushes away the human friendliness that we naturally exhibit.
- What are your perspectives or opinions about the whole environment of mankind that has become so hostile to itself?
The effect of the fuzziness in our society today is caused by the yearning for a better life from almost every human being who wakes up everyday wanting to get something new and different from what he or she already had, that creates competition that affect how the human life is driven to the extent that what you want determines where you visit, what you do and how you generally live your live.
- what exactly could be defined as happiness and what do you think can bridge all of these? .
The only way to change our society so that people can be happier is to find a balance. We must try to find a balance between the pursuit of happiness and contentment. We must as well accept reality and become content with what we have, we should always try to make do with what we have and build our life from that point of view.
There is a pursuit for more, more money etc. and then trying to raise a healthy family and that’s where the problem comes from and that has derailed and affected the original positive attitude of mankind.
These things are normal because we can’t function without them, happiness and kindness is a vital part of our being as humans. People need to define what happiness means to them and stick to doing what makes them happy.
Let’s not mistake goals as wants! a goal depending on what you need in your life to feel happy, but setting yourself up against wanting to grab too many things to feel egocentric without considering other factors is problem with most people; you have to structure your life in such a way that your goals and wants don’t make you become a slave of your own being and that again is going to deprive you from happiness.
Do you think that the pursuit for their more and more is associated with the mindset or there is something wrong with the society itself?
Yes it’s a mindset thing, and it’s more of the mindset than what is wrong with the society, like for instance people in developed countries, take America for instance, they are still reaching for more things, and they are a better society compared to some African countries,
There is the need for every individual to define what they want in practical terms, the pursuit for everything is the problem because people have different parameters or bases for measuring what can be seen as contentment and what happiness means to them, so in practical terms; what do you want? because if you begin to question the reason why you are not happy or content, it must be seen through the things that you do, the decisions you take. 
let me give you a practical example, when the whole protest started in Nigeria against police brutality, that really got to me, aside from the fact that I got hurt in process of going out to protest, It made me begin to question myself about my goals, like is this where I ought to be, have I settle in here or should I get out before it become too bad?.
I started thinking , should I start making plans to get out before it gets hotter than this, that was me trying to measure my level of contentment in light of the current situation. That propelled me to start thinking about my life. if I am truly happy, if I have gotten what I wanted, if I should remain here in Nigeria.
I went back to the drawing board looking at the goals I have set for myself, if I have achieved those goals, if not, can I now say that I am not contented?,
These are the things I use as a person to measure my happiness and contentment because some people don’t know where and when to draw the line and say, at this level in my life, I have gotten what I want/need, my goals are met, as such I am content. Take a pause and enjoy those achievements instead of pushing for more.
The problem with some people in this country is that they don’t have a goal for their lives. they just wake up and live each day as it comes, or just plan their lives on the go.
If you understand yourself and define your life by setting your goals right, you will always be on track and happy, but if you are a person who is distracted by the things you see around you then you all are running from pillar to post and that will not make you happy.
- What do you think people can do to resolve the conflict between what the society expects of them and what they expect from themselves because if people achieve their goals in life then still push them for more?
I always encourage people to think at an egocentric level first before they are socio-centric to world-centric level. at the egocentric level you are thinking about you and what makes you happy. What goals have I set for myself, so you start looking at educational goals and what level do I want to get to with regards to education?
Relationship goals, What kind of partner is suitable for me? Can I find the man/woman of my dreams? When do you get married? Or would you like to settle down ever?
The aim is to focus, on you first because you matter before anybody. First seek for your own happiness before trying to meet the needs and ever increasing demands of the society/Families. You cannot give from an empty cup. Your life should be full enough for others to tap from, otherwise you will be drained financially, emotionally etc.
I think what is the common problem with we Africans is the emotional state of responsibilities from our families and our relatives, so we try to please our families and the society and thereby we enslave ourselves in order to make them happy.
What we can do in order to find a balance is to be selfish, let’s use myself as an example, I started out trying to please my family to make everybody happy, it even affected my choice of marriage partner,, but after realizing that mistake, I had to reinvent myself, starting all over again. Set achievable goals for me, career and family. Re-structure my finances and make provision within what I can comfortably afford for my parents, and now my family has fallen in line with me. you have to take charge of your life. Take a stand for yourself and decide what you want and go for it.
- One of the problems we have today is peer pressure, where do you think that comes from?
Of course that comes from the society’s high level of competitiveness among the youths, most young people think doing well should be measured by physical assets, how much you have and what car you drive or how well you live, it’s more of the material wealth that you can acquire for yourself.
What we can do is prioritize our life to make life easier for us and not get carried away by all that’s happening around us.
As a society our problem is mostly based on setting goals in the wrong direction, and then the individual effort is then pushed into that same societal agenda. Let’s stop getting carried away and stand on your priority.
It’s only people who have no direction in life that are easily distracted by the environment because they don’t know where they are heading to in life. Let’s stop being carried away, if you want something come up with a plan and find a legitimate way to archive it.
- You study abroad, what prompts you to return to Nigeria, is there a fine explanation for that decision?
After my studies in India there was no opportunity to stay back, though I had admission to study masters in Psychology at Mysore University but graduating at age 23 and being away from my family, I have missed my family, I wanted to come home and see my family and get a job. I came back to Nigeria after my studies because I believed things will get better in Nigeria.
I made that decision to return to Nigeria because I strongly believed things would be better in Nigeria so I didn’t need to overstay my welcome in a foreign country.
Honestly, after two years plus since I came back, things are not the way it ought to have been. There are no jobs. You find it hard to land a well paying job, it’s either you get a job that you are underpaid for or start a business. The struggle is real out here, it gets harder if you have no connections to people at the higher level of decision making.
However I don’t quite regret it, I think it became easier for me. I looked within and found a way to make it work in my favor. I started my own businesses.
A mobile massage business and personal branding coaching. Working for myself has allowed me to also do more volunteering for social work, and for two years I can say that God has been faithful and my business is doing very well.
My greatest happiness of being here at this time in history is my ability to lend a hand in Nation building, because I am passionate about women development; which is why I volunteer at Kiss Fm Radio (Abuja) to offer psychological counseling to people calling in on the Anonymous show.
Also, I worked with Ecowas 50 million women speak out project to help women entrepreneurs build their business on social media as a digital marketing mentor. Helping these women stand out and make money from their skills and knowledge makes me happy that I can add value and I sincerely wish I can do more.
- what is the general atmosphere in Nigerian now after the recent #Endsars protest that went on around the country?
I think we are in the atmosphere of just waiting, and there is still tension in the air and generally it is just the atmosphere of waiting. The youth have given the government their demands, they’ve been told to give the government some time to meet those demands. But you see how funny it is that the government could move at such a speed of a few days to replace SARS with SWAT, one would expect the same energy in meeting our demands as well.
So generally we are just waiting and watching what they would do next in regards to the demands and the change that the people want to see.
- Which area do you think is the problem of the government wanting to pass a social media regulatory bill?
I wouldn’t know I can’t speak for them, but what I can tell you from a citizen
point of view is, I believe that it is of people posting sensitive information on social media, the government do not want to have a country where citizens just go around exposing security operative’s public misconduct because that would put the government in a bad light to international communities.
That is why they talk heavily on social media regulation trying to pass a bill to remove free speech and that is not right on the part of the citizens. The government also uses the same social media to mobilize during elections and that is to their own favor, so why take away the only power the people have to hold them accountable?
What I expect from the side of the government is to use social media to connect with the people and unite the citizens, mostly the youths. They have lost trust from the people and the only way to gain that trust back is if they can put in place a system that means well for every Nigerian.
- Why do you think people ignore the Covid 19 regulation to go out on the street to protest, are we saying that the virus no longer exists in Nigeria?
For me, I think it’s because people have long suffered enough and are tired. People don’t care anymore whether they die of Covid-19.
I think the general mindset of the people now is that there is a more deadly virus Called hunger then Covid-19. We have a country where access to basic amenities is nothing to hope for, they can’t sit at home when there are more pressing issues.
That is why you see people on the street protesting.
We have lost lives during this period even to Covid -19.
Recently, we lost a vibrant doctor to Covid-19, a doctor who was very Instrumental during protest, he and many other medical personnel’s across the country were the ones helping to treat wounded protesters including those who got shot.
All these happened not because people did not know there is Covid-19 out there but because people don’t care anymore.
The trust deficit in this country is deep that the people won’t even believe that the government locked up palliatives and refuse to distribute them and some got expired cos they were kept for the second wave of the pandemic.
Unfortunately for them, the people discovered the palliatives at the warehouses, and started looting. That shows you that people are hungry and have been for a long time.
So generally speaking, people don’t care whether there is Covid-19 or not because of that lack of trust from government, some people believe Covid-19 could be another lie from the government and this is why the government need to do a whole lot more to gain their trust back , and they are not even trying to do that first, all they are trying to do is to proof that they are doing their best and that is the disconnect.
Let’s talk about life and love. What is your opinion about the challenge of finding the right partner to be in a relationship with nowadays?
Having to find the right person to start a relationship and p 
rogressively getting married and having children is a normal thing. But being able to stay true to that goal is where there is a challenge. If you never got in with the right motive, lasting in the institution of marriage is unattainable.
This is something that can be associated with the individuals involved and that is the challenge of finding the right partner to get involved with or if you have one it’s even more challenging to stay together because love alone is not just enough. Some people go onto relationships with ulterior motives. We must be aware that money doesn’t hold a relationship or even marriage, what keeps a marriage goes beyond love, money etc. it is a combination of the two and compromise as well as commitment.
There are basic things that you must understand before stepping into a relationship, don’t go with high and unrealistic expectations because people change. It’s important that before you make such a commitment, you should also take your time to know the kind of partner you want to establish a relationship with, take your time to know the person and don’t rush to say ‘yes’
How would you advise people on taking positions in life? From your experience as a mother and as an independent entrepreneur?
Taking a position means taking a stand on what you want in life and what you don’t, and that goes back to life priorities. My advice to anyone out there would be to have your priorities right, if you know what you want and set your goals to achieve them, you will not be distracted or easily carried away by anything.
If your position is to take care of yourself or your children or partner, then make that your priority and do everything possible to make sure that nothing takes you away from that.
Let’s not forget that your personality is defined by your values, so you must try to calve out your priorities out of your values and personality.
Now you have spoken about values. How do you think society can reinstall this values to help us become better as a people ?
Well, I think it’s time to unlearn some of the things that we were taught, because time keeps washing away most of the things we have learned. What society say is right or wrong is not enough, what our parents say is right or wrong is also not enough because it keeps changing over time.
We need to start learning new things based on what is happening around us and start having new conditioning. Let’s allow our intuition to channel our good will, because the conscience will never lie to us and that is the only way.
We have to start from individual experience depending on our disposition and environment, we have to set new courses and start learning things that are more healthier to our existence.
Let us begin to do things right because we know what is right, help each other, look out for the best from one another and be happy with the little things in life. If we do these things right, our lives will be peaceful and more relaxed which will bring happiness and boost our chances of a longer life.
